Only One
by sevenpuddings
Summary: Companion piece to 'Empty Apartment'. Will Maddie and Luke ever sort things out? Another song fic.


Disclaimer: I'm simply borrowing the characters from Home and Away, and the song "Only One" by Yellowcard. 

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**Only One**

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Nothing is the same. Not any more. We smile awkwardly at one another. We share glances, but nothing substantial. Not since the wedding. That fateful afternoon, when everything changed.

And nothing changed.

He's with her now. In our house. In our living room. Joking with her, making her laugh, whispering sweet nothings into her ear. The one he danced with. Before he rescued me, from my own cruel world. The walls were crumbling down around me, caving in, as my heart seemed to want to stop beating. Then his face, his angelic face, he was there. And I thought it meant something. Signified something in our already shattered relationship. A light, at the end of a cruel, dark tunnel.

Maybe I'd imagined his face there in the first place. Maybe, I had willed it to be him, rather than known, felt, that it was him. I just, wished every cruel word we'd thrown at one another, wished, willed them to disappear into thin air. That we could go back to the shy glances and the electric touches that had brought us together in the first place.

But you can never go back.

Still now, I couldn't fathom when exactly we'd changed. It all came on so slowly… or too quickly. And we just, were. His words, had shattered my soul, and I had become a shell of a person. My words, had bounced off his steel heart, and he had found someone new to laugh with.

It was her laughter that brought me back to the cold reality that was now my world. She was smiling at him, and he was smiling at her. It didn't seem real though, it seemed forced, as if he were almost… pretending. Maybe I just wanted him to pretend. Maybe I just wanted to keep that real smile, I wanted to keep that for myself.

In my heart, he would always be mine. My first love, my only love. But she, she was in there, with him. How I used to be. She doesn't understand him… she doesn't get him. She just likes to play nice with him, and pretends to understand his somewhat weird, twisted sense of humour.

She wasn't even pretty. With that fake blonde hair, and fake tan. She wasn't real. My mantra. For the last, well, since before. Nothing is real. I'm living in a dream life. I'm living in hell.

Her laughter pierces the silence once more. It's always there. And I can't help it.

"If you can't shut up, you can get out. Some of us have to study here." I snap at them, before turning back to my books.

He doesn't even try to apologise. To me, or to her. He just shakes his head. And takes her hand.

He walks away again.

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The alarm sounds again. I groan, before rolling over and angrily slamming it so it hits the floor. Is there a point any more, I think, staring at the dark ceiling. There are little stars staring back at me. Luke and I put them there one night. He fell down as he tried to make the Southern Cross, and we laughed so hard that night.

A couple of weeks later I remember I would cry every time I looked up at the ceiling. I would cry every moment I was alone. But I didn't cry at him. Not until the wedding. And never again.

It wouldn't make a difference. He'd just look the other way. Like he does every time I snap at him. Or at Mum. Or at Tony. It's changed me. I changed me. He changed me.

Now this person I've become. She doesn't care any more. She doesn't want to get up in the morning. She doesn't want to eat, she doesn't want to feel, she doesn't want to love. She doesn't want to be alive. Wasting away, as I fall into the abyss of darkness, I feel… nothing.

I am numb. A body rotting away in the darkness, a soul too shattered to fly.

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The music vibrates through my body; the heat radiates around me. His arms wrap around my body tight, but I don't feel. His wet slimy lips attach themselves to my neck, and out of instinct I move my head to the side to provide better access. I close my eyes, and imagine. Imagine that it's his coarse, hardened hands on my belly, his rough lips, dry from the salt and the sun on my neck.

That it's his lean, tall body that I lean into. Lean up against. I imagine that it's him. And I open my eyes to another broken dream. He looks like him, in the darkness. He smells like him too. But I knew him too well. I know him too well, to pretend any more.

The tears form in my eyes as I rush out of the club, and run all the way home, to stare at the ceiling once more.

To cry myself to sleep again.

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Pulling the bag over my shoulder, I kiss the note one final time, before sliding it under his door and walking away. Leaving is the only answer. The only option. I'd rather be anywhere else but here. With the constant memories, the bitter heartache. I can't live if I'm here, because I'm too dead without him breathing life into me.

There's not much time left. Enough though, to visit the cove. Sitting down into the soft sand, the comfort of the waves crashing against the shore is enough to induce another batch of tears. Prickling at the corner of my eyes, the fresh salty tears run down my face, as I drop my head, letting it fall between my arms.

I ruined everything. Those endless nights where I would lay awake, blaming him. I could never see. Never understand. Until now. I was spoiled and demanding and wanted, needed everything to be about me. But it was never about me, it was about us. All this time he'd be worrying about me, and I'd been worrying about us.

Was that such a bad thing? Could I have saved us? If I'd changed anything, would we still have ended up the same? Broken. We were something that simply couldn't be fixed. And I told him. I told him…

_That I will love you until forever Lucas. You were the one who saved me. And now I need to save you. I'm leaving. For good. Mum and Tony know. They understand Luke, and I need you to understand too. Your better off without me here. You know that, deep down. You're trying to move on, but even being in the same room as me, you can't. And I can't ruin your life any longer. You're my only one Luke. Always have been. Love always and forever, Matilda._

His voice comes from somewhere beyond the grave. I can hear him so vividly, reading the letter, sighing in relief. In happiness. In sadness. With everything he has, he'll let me go.

A voice comes from behind me, but the words are scrambled in the wind. Turning, I know who it is before I see them.

"Don't run away." He says, his voice full of conviction.

"It has to be done. It's the only way Luke." I sigh, my world, once again falling down around me. And I'm too tired to fight any more.

"You can't leave." He says, and I almost believe it. "We can figure it out. We can save something, anything." He said, pleadingly.

"You can't save people from themselves Luke." I whisper quietly.

But he hears, and he looks down. He's walked over to me by now. We're standing centimeters away from one another. The wind whips my hair all around me, and I see his hand itch to brush it off my face.

But he's fighting a battle. His face is twisted, trying to fight one side against another. Like it always does. And he's shutting me out again. Like he always does.

I laugh to myself. We can't work. Together, we're more dangerous than we are apart. It is like we're waiting to tear one another apart again. Like we're just waiting to ruin one another once more. We can't be together. We'd simply fall apart again.

But then… his hand is on my face, wiping away the tears that have continued to flow.

"You feel that Maddie?" Luke whispers softly as his other hand wraps around my waist, pulling me up against him. "I know you feel it too."

And its there. All the heat, all the electricity that came from the simplest of touches, our hands brushing against one another, bare skin that was shy enough to make its way out of a shirt when we hugged.

My breathing quickens as I feel Luke's heart pound against my own. He kisses my tears away, then kisses my lips. Softly, timidly, exploring something that seemed foreign, forgotten. Then he's pulling me closer, and deepening the kiss, his tongue begging entry, his body craving for more.

Lose yourself in something that is magic, I think. Lose yourself in something you never thought you'd feel again. Instead, I push away, and take a few steps away from him.

"We can't go back Luke" I say shakily, "Too much has happened. We don't work. We kill one another Luke, we destroy each other, take away all the feeling we have."

"But I don't feel unless I'm with you." Luke replies confidently, walking towards me. "You are my only one."

Pulling me close, he murmurs three words in my ear before kissing me again, before taking my heart back, before making me feel again.

"My only one."

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Finis

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AN: Thank you to xxNicolexx for putting up with my late night (which turned into early morning) ramblings. Companion piece to 'Empty Apartment' – yep, there it is. But no more. I've finished my usage of Yellowcard songs… for now evil laugh Read and review, especially those who wanted one.

Inspired by this song…

Broken this fragile thing now  
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces  
And I've thrown my words all around  
But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (So broken up)  
And I give up (I give up)  
I just want to tell you so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, but there's just no one who gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes let you down  
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long  
Ran my whole life in the ground  
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)  
I feel like giving up (Giving up)  
I won't walk out until you know.

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do  
You are my only, my only one.

Here I go, so dishonestly,  
Leave a note for you my only one  
And I know, you can see right through me,  
So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you  
You are my only one  
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you  
You are my only, my only one

My only one

You are my only, my only one.


End file.
